On 16th August 2024, Jamal and his daughter Jade* shared their story of being a parent and being parented from prison on BBC Woman’s Hour.
Jamal has been involved in the Fathers Together study, aiming to co-produce a parenting programme to support young fathers in prison and their families. The interview was part of promotion for the Netflix documentary ‘Daughters’, following four Black girls preparing for a daddy-daughter dance in a US prison. This was their second collaboration with the study, after a joint screening was held in June.
Angela Patton, director of ‘Daughters’, was also interviewed. She described the social and emotional barriers impacting Black girls. She noted that many are taught to believe “I’m too much, but I’m not enough” and too often remain “unheard, unseen and definitely not valued” societally. Patton said this inspired her to create initiatives to affirm Black girls’ voices. On a summer programme, one such group of girls decided to change the “negative narrative around Black fatherhood” by hosting their own dance. When their peer was unable to join in due to her father’s incarceration, they determined that “just because your father is locked in, does not mean he has to be locked out of your life.” Sticking to their word, they swiftly contacted the local sheriff to bring the dance to the jail instead. This resulted in the ‘Date with Dad’ fatherhood programme depicted in the film.
These issues are not confined to the US. Here in the UK, Jamal’s 10-year sentence meant he missed the birth of his daughter Jade. This reflects a sad reality for thousands of imprisoned fathers and their children nationwide. Answering a question about what he could relate to in the documentary, he said “the emotional side of things, being detached from your child was hard.” He described the limited contact in prison as “almost feeling dehumanised, not having that chance to bond with my daughter.”
The love between them is palpable, but they recognise their journey has not been an easy one. Jade, who believed her dad was away at work until she was nine, said she used to ask herself “Why me? Why wasn’t he there for me?” and “Would our relationship be better if he was there?” She said she could relate to the girls in ‘Daughters’ losing excitement to speak to their dad as they grew years older and were still waiting for him to come home.
Listening to his daughter speak to her own experience brought up many emotions for Jamal.
“It definitely touches me to even hear this…you don’t realise the ripple effect it’s [imprisonment] had,” he said.
In the years passed, change has clearly been made. When asked what positives she can take from this situation, Jade said she’s happy her dad is going to “stick in my life forever and he’s not going to leave me.”
Jamal credits some of that change to his work on the Fathers Together study. ‘I’m so grateful for Fathers Together. It helped me with the skills and the tools to understand how it’s possible to make changes regarding my relationship with my children and other people as well.”
“There needs to be more of these [programmes] out there because people do benefit, I’m living proof.”
Their relationship is now more typical, with Jade enjoying time with friends and calling on her dad when she needs to fund her nail appointments. It is a testament to them both that they have come this far, although Jamal recognises the work is not over.
“It’s an ongoing rebuilding, giving my daughter that space for her to trust me because I’ve let her down,” he said. “I don’t have any plan; I’m just going to continue to be a good father.”
When later asked about his experience being interviewed, Jamal shared a sense of catharsis and hope for those in a similar position:
“I had a great experience doing Woman’s Hour with my daughter. It was very uplifting for me
and my daughter to both express what we’ve held in for years. Hopefully this can encourage
other parents and children to understand that support is out there.”
The Fathers Together study aims to support young fathers, like Jamal, to maintain and improve their family relationships whilst in prison. To find out more visit
www.fatherstogether.co.uk
The full episode is available here (segment starts at 14:50) and available on BBC Sounds and BBC Radio 4.
*names have been changed to maintain anonymity
