
Parenting programmes often face the misconception that they’re for “bad” parents. We only have to look at their depiction in popular culture. Take ITV’s latest psychological thriller, Playing Nice. The drama follows two families whose children had been switched at birth. Within the show, the courts get involved with a lawyer suggesting that one of the families takes part in a parenting programme to prove they’re “good parents”.
But the truth is, parenting programmes are for every parent. Comfort, mother to a two-year-old daughter, completed the Strengthening Families Strengthening Communities in-person parenting programme last December. The programme proved transformative, helping her strengthen her relationship with her daughter and develop a stronger sense of self as a parent.
Through Comfort’s journey, this blog addresses misconceptions in parenting, the real purpose of parenting programmes, and how they guide parents towards self-discovery and personal growth. Alongside a more positive approach to raising a family.
A journey of self-discovery
The first session explored Comfort’s upbringing. Here she reflected on her parenting journey to understand her roots, identity and cultural influences. This self-reflection allowed her to consider changes to her parenting approach, such as challenging gender stereotypes and adopting a more balanced approach to education.
Parents may choose to teach their children that chores, responsibilities, and family roles are shared regardless of gender. Or for parents who experienced an education centred purely on academic success, to emphasise that life skills, emotional intelligence and creativity are also educational achievements. By breaking down personal identity and understanding her own experiences of being brought up, Comfort was able to decide how she would raise her children differently.
In addition to her self-reflection, the course introduced practical techniques for enhancing relationships with her children.
“This course opened my heart to the new meaning of parenting. I found that parenting is understanding yourself so you’ll be able to understand your children.
I learnt so many techniques and developed different skills in ways to communicate to my little one including different ways to teach and guide her through this world.
I loved that although it’s about our children, this programme helps to unravel past traumas and challenges that may have subconsciously haunted us and otherwise impacted our parenting styles.”
Beyond this, the course prioritised creating a safe and non-judgemental safe space for parents. Parents could connect to others who understood their struggles while overcoming past traumas that were silently influencing their parenting style.
This journey became “therapeutic” for Comfort who “enjoyed every second and looked forward to the next session every time [she] said see you next week”.
Addressing misconceptions in parenting
For Comfort, before joining the course, the word “discipline” caused panic and fear, and was usually associated with negativity. However, through the programme, she learnt that discipline is fundamentally about teaching and guidance. Discipline originates from the root word ‘disciple’, shifting the focus from punishment to leading and guiding by example. This realisation shifted her approach to parenting: to view challenging moments and disruptive behaviour as opportunities for teaching.
Parenting comes naturally
The course also challenged a common misconception that parents know how to parent and that it is an innate skill that comes naturally. In reality, individual upbringings, personal experiences and societal expectations often cause many parents to behave reactively instead of behaving thoughtfully to their child’s behaviour in the moment. For instance, when a child excitedly presents a muddy rock they’ve unearthed from the garden, a parent’s initial response may focus on the mess and frustration rather than the child’s joy and discovery.
However, a positive parenting approach is about building a strong connection and relationship with your child first, moving away from past resentments and automatic reactions. Parenting is a journey of learning and growth for both the parent and child, starting with self-discovery and reflection.
Parenting courses are for bad parents
Parenting programmes are often misunderstood as a sign of failure or a space where parents are forced to confess to being bad parents in a room full of strangers. In reality, they prove to be a stepping stone for personal growth. The course focuses on building confidence, identifying strengths and individual passions and interests. Many finish the course wanting to continue their development and learning, taking further classes to improve their English, computer skills, and even driving lessons.
Far from being invasive, parenting programmes foster a supportive environment and opportunity to rediscover new passions and relationships. People can often feel a sense of identity loss once they become parents, but those attending SFSC programmes often leave inspired to volunteer, start community groups, pursue their interests or plan social and fitness activities.
Community involvement is a key aspect of the SFSC course, helping parents to realise that ‘every person is a resource’. Just this month, parents from the SFSC Barking and Dagenham parenting group established a community group and launched ‘Litter Heroes’. They braved the cold and came together to clear their local area from rubbish, ending the day with food and drinks at their local community hub.
An opportunity to grow as an individual and as a family
After completing the course, Comfort felt more confident in herself as a first-time mum and highly recommends the programme to others:
“Although I wish I could take the course again, I know there are others out there that would really benefit from this course.
I have really connected with my daughter on a deeper level from the tools I learnt on the course and can better understand how my children are wired as individuals.
I’m so much more confident now and would recommend this programme to anyone who is even slightly curious about what the course has to offer”
Parenting isn’t just about shaping your child’s future. As well as teaching children life skills and giving them tools to navigate life successfully, it is about healing, growing, and thriving together as a family.
Interested or wanting to learn more about our SFSC parenting programme?
Learn more here