There are many theories about the routes through which conflict harms children. This is not about simple cause and effect, or a parent blaming themselves or their co-parent: it is about parents and practitioners understanding the processes so that steps can be taken to reduce harmful conflict. There follow short explanations of these pathways.

During pregnancy

Credit: Education Scotland

Modelling: Children see: Children do

Credit: Health Nexus Santé

Parenting

Parents can ‘become’ harsher with discipline, more controlling (if they feel out of control in their relationship) and even blame children. Emotionally exhausted by the conflict, they may feel detached from their children, with less energy to ‘follow through’ with boundaries or rules, or they may compensate for the conflict by relaxing rules or by offering other ‘treats’ or gifts.

Erel, O., & Burman, B. (1995).Harold, G. T., Elam,