How to engage with families from all communities

This is a very nuanced topic. The use of language and understanding of non-verbal cues is very important.

Practitioners should ensure that:

• Professional interpreters are used with adults and young people where English is a second language.
• Where couples are living with extended family, care should be taken that co-parents or children feel free and safe to speak openly and honestly.
• Where a co-parent appears to be ‘out of the picture’ or is difficult to engage, professionals should remain inquisitive and consider other ways to engage this parent.

There will be a culture of communication and conflict for co-parents. Practitioners should be sensitive to this.

What may sound loud or appear like fast paced ‘shouting’ may be perfectly normal in some families and their wider community. It should be remembered that talking loudly or with passion is not of itself a sign of conflict.

For same sex couples who may have had poor experiences talking to their own parents about their sexuality in the past, being ‘open’ in communication may take longer.

This might also be a particular issue with dads who have felt negatively judged previously.

Some parents may feel more comfortable talking with practitioners who they feel they can identify with by ethnicity, age, faith, gender or sexuality. Practitioners should therefore acquaint themselves with colleagues or local community partners who might assist.

Our examples of questions can help co-parents who are living together work out their strengths. [See Resources].

For separated co-parents:

Consider working through a parenting plan

Resources for parenting (Cafacss) allows co-parents to consider potential areas of conflict before they happen and reach an agreement without the need for court intervention.

Co-parents can agree on:

• Day to day care arrangements
• Holidays and special dates like birthdays or faith holidays
• Approach to education, now and in the future
• Approach to health, existing conditions, doctor and dentist appointments, elective medical procedures including cosmetic (piercings, tattoos), sexual health, contraception, drugs, alcohol
• Lifestyle choices; physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health
• Extended family involvement
• The introduction and roles of new partners
• Giving children a voice as they grow

Our examples of questions for co-parents who live apart can help parents work out how they see the arrangements for their children and allow them to work towards an agreed parenting plan. [See Resources]