Before we understand how co-parents in conflict communicate, we need to appreciate that communication is not just about the words we use.

Types of non-verbal conversation

Think about…

Think about non-verbal communication within conflict situations and the messages you send by:

Proxemics

• Getting in someone’s personal space (aggressive?)
• Walking away (you don’t care?)

Haptics

• Avoiding touch, physically recoiling (disgust?)

Vocalics

• Voice tone, volume, pitch, speed (Is there a list of complaints? Is it that bad?)

Chronemics

• The time you take talking. Is it too long? (a lecture?)
• Are you giving the other person enough time to speak?
• Are you listening? (Do you care about their opinion?)

Kinesics

• How you are presenting yourself: rolling eyes, grimacing, red in the face, gritting teeth (angry?), folding arms (closed?), sighing (bored), turning away (not bothered?), ‘becoming busy’.
• Are you looking at the other person as they speak? (not looking = not interested/stonewalling?)
• Are you sitting or moving around?
• Are you looking at your phone, cooking, on your laptop? (not interested in resolving the situation?)